Letter 5: The most important four letter word

Throughout the entirety of human existence, we have attempted to define and comprehend love. We have sought to encapsulate it within mathematical equations or philosophical theories, but love is an intangible force that defies codification.

If you take a moment to be present daily, to feel the ground beneath your feet and notice the colors of the day, you will discover countless manifestations of love that exist.

Never forget…

You are not difficult to love.

You are deserving of love just as you are.

There is no need to strive for perfection or conform to societal standards in order to be loved.

You don’t need to look the best or have all the money in the world to be loved

You certainly don’t need to learn tricks and games to be loved.

The only thing you need to do is “love”

In Vagabonds! Eloghosa Osunde wrote;

"The universe is expansive, you know? We never run out of possible loves.”

This is true for a lover. Someone whose resting state is love. This may sound crazy, but I believe that life is a game or a test purposely designed to drain all the love from within us, leaving us cold and hardened. However, the ones who emerge victorious are those who overcome the traps and challenges of life while still holding on to their capacity to love.

I implore everyone I meet to strive for victory. To do whatever it takes to keep the flame of love burning in their hearts. For I am convinced that this is the only path to a lifetime of fulfillment.

Like an angel has wings, love is flanked by peace and joy. These are not mere emotions; rather, they are states of being. It is possible to be at peace while still experiencing moments of anxiety, or to be filled with joy while also feeling occasional sadness. Such is the complexity of being human.

Oh, how I wish I can find love

Love isn’t a treasure you go searching for. There is not a place marked X that holds all the love you need. There’s certainly not a person either. The love you seek already resides within you. Love is like the air we breathe—it surrounds us, silent and infinite. To find love, one must become love.

You cannot love someone or something else more than you love yourself.

Self-love has gained popularity in recent times, but capitalism has diluted its meaning by commodifying it. Selling you products like candles, face masks, and 10-inch dildo vibrators. While there is nothing inherently wrong with these products (I mean I’m actually looking for a ten inch dildo vibrator myself), they do not fully encompass the concept of self-love.

True self-love is the act of discovering the depth of your own humanity, sitting with it, accepting it and moulding it to the version you’re completely pleased with.

Self-love means addressing the root causes of your anger and freeing yourself from the grip of your triggers. It means silencing the intrusive thoughts that tell you that you are not enough and recognizing the value you bring to the world.

Self-love is the act of motivating yourself to get out of bed in the morning and opening the windows to let in the fresh air. It is showing up for yourself and honoring the body that serves as a vessel for your existence in this realm.

Self-love is having the strength to say no to those "friends" who offer you a drink or a cigarette after you have made a commitment to quit. It is asking yourself why you harbor resentment towards your father and why you haven't reached out to your mother, and then digging deep to uncover unhealed childhood wounds from your past.

Self-love is falling in love with your own name and appreciating the various ways it can be spelled.

The harsh truth about self-love

Loving oneself is often more challenging than loving another person. Love requires knowledge—knowing who you are both inside and out, understanding your fears, strengths, weaknesses, and all the elements that make up your being. Love is choice, despite the knowledge.

This is why romantic love often fails to last. As we gain more knowledge about a person, we become aware of their inherent human nature and the imperfections that we must constantly navigate.

In my next letter, I will share my hard-earned wisdom on how to love as an imperfect person in an imperfect world.

What I’ve been listening to:

A few days ago, nostalgia consumed Nigerians on Twitter when a tweet went viral, causing thousands of people to share the old love songs that still hold meaning to them. If you are curious about this, a kind-hearted person already compiled them all into a playlist.

Check out Playlist:

Wrapping it Up:

I can’t believe a new semester has started. Frankly, I am not ready for the stress that lies ahead, but I have no choice but to bury my head in my books. However, I have a little request to make of you.

Do you find my letters valuable?

If yes, would you be so willing to share your favourite edition with just one person you believe will appreciate it and encourage ‘em to subscribe? This is how you can support me, and it will mean the world to me. Thank you sincerely😊🙏.